If you engage with arithmetic, or anything else, and you really want to know, you will begin a journey. It will probably last a lifetime. Once you have become a black belt, seventh dan, you may choose once again to wear the white belt. If you are a consultant doctor, you become Mr.
One gains knowledge and wisdom but never reaches an end. There can be no end. If you think you have reached the end you are mistaken.
It is clearly the same with engaging in the Cui way.
It is, or should be, not a way that is prescribed. You have to make it your own. As such, your way will be different in many respects to others’ interpretations of the way. This is normal and proper. There is nothing unusual about it. Everyone must start somewhere. Do not compare yourself to anyone else. It is your journey.
There are so many inappropriately incomplete and partial journeys generated by the present education system.
I live in a city. Where is this city? It exists in every inhabitants mind. There are as many cities where I live as inhabitants of the city. Clearly it can be located on a map, but the knowledge and understanding of the city and all that it means is personal.
This is the difference between a prescribed content, as a list, and a full and robust ‘feel’ of the meaning. You have to work at this kind of learning. It is beyond facts. It engages your whole being. You have to create the meaning yourself, through wanting to. If you don’t want to, you won’t begin. No one can force you. At least, you can be forced in school up to a point through fear, guilt and external discipline, but this is an unnecessary crime.
So, just begin.